THE JONES - Gloss Black / Cola Photochromic

Let me tell you how I ended up with spoons on my face and zero regrets.

I was minding my own business at CJI (you know, doing adult things, probably talking diamonds and deals) when I stumbled into a conversation with this charismatic Aussie who looked like he moonlights as James Bond’s cooler cousin. Turns out, he’s the owner of Oscar X Frank — and before I could even process what was happening, we were three drinks deep, talking eyewear, world domination, and Vegas after 2 a.m.

Fast forward to that wild night in Vegas — and by wild, I mean the kind of night where you either wake up with a tiger in your hotel room or a brand-new pair of Jones “Welcome to Colombia” sunglasses you swear were designed by aliens… or chefs. Because let’s be honest — these shades look like they’ve got tiny spoons melted into the frames. But in the best possible way.

Like, who needs aerodynamics when you’ve got culinary hardware holding your sunglasses together? They’re bold, they’re oddly elegant, and they low-key whisper “Don’t talk to me unless you brought empanadas and a good story.”

Since then, these bad boys have been my ride-or-die. I wear them and feel 27% more dangerous, 43% cooler, and 100% like someone who may or may not be smuggling style across international borders.

So if you’re looking for shades that scream cartel chic with Michelin star energy, meet your new obsession. And shoutout to the wildest Vegas night and the coolest guy from down under for introducing me to Oscar X Frank — the only brand that makes wearing flatware on your face somehow make sense.